Poker is to random as Attraction is to ¿Random?

A. Poker and Random:


I will not extend myself much on why poker is not a game of chance, at this stage of mental development of the sport I think we all have it clear. But for those who are attracted to poker and do not know exactly why, I will tell you a little. One of the most certain phrases I heard in some poker circuit is "Poker is not a card game played by people, is a people game played with cards".
I think this sentence explains more clearly what this means, but if you have not got it yet I will explain better.


When you play a game of people the strategy is going to be much more important regarding the types of people that the cards themselves or whatever tool you are using. Let us get a little deeper in the concept of strategy, which is a very prostituted word nowadays. Strategy is a series of actions we take to a certain goal over time. The long term is obviously relative, when addressing a girl, your long-term strategy can be 20 minutes. But for a retail company, may be 10 years. Then in poker long-term strategy is also relative.Consider a couple of examples. Playing a 10 people Sit n 'Go , the long term may be 3-4 hours. Playing a tournament of 10 people, the long term may be 10 hours. In Poker cash games, we could be talking about a lifetime! or rather a couple of hours ... like so many things is very relative and depends on the mind-set of each activity.

Let's address the issue of people strategy. Taking a strategy with people, especially in a poker table is all about having a good read od people and to classify each individual into a personality type. A basic way is to make a two-dimensional map where the axes are Passive-Active, Conservative-Maniac. So if you can classify all the people in your table in one of four quadrants, bingo! you have a good read of your table ... and this applies not only for poker but also in the game of life, especially useful to learn to treat women, but we will dig deeper into that.

Some people have a great intuition for both poker and for relationships with women, we call these people ... or "naturals". They do not really know why they do what they do, however they achieve results as good as experts. Without going any further, all good poker players, were once bad players ... and won something, a tournament, a table, one hand. Partly by luck, partly by intuition. Then we could say that the strategy in poker is that map-decision-making, our north that will lead us to have a style of play in any situation, a tournament, a cash game. What would be the tactic then? The tactic would be short-term tools I use to achieve my long term goal.

Here is an example. Playing a low stakes cash game in Las Vegas I sat at a table quite normal, so as always I decided to stick to the table and see how aggressive it was playing. After half an hour I realized they were playing very conservative, so I decided to play against the table, ie be the lose-aggressive. I started raising and re-raising hand after hand, using my reading. When I originally came to the table I realized that two seats to my left was an older lady. And believe me, playing poker I have no problem in getting the money to my grandmother if she is sitting at the table with me. This is how it is, if she put her money in, she is ready to play.

Playing with $ 1-2 blinds, I pick up the Th9h and being in middle position I say: "I raise, make it 12 .." Everyone folded around to the lady's face looks at me "Sorry sonny, but I have to pay" as if they really feel sorry for mí. 

Flop: Ts9s4h. The lady checks it and I bet, "25 more, beautiful lady ..." I look with the face of cocker spaniel and she flat-calls me.

Turn: Kc The Lady checks it, and I throw a suspicous bet: "34 more .... " The benevolent old lady instantly leaned back fully reclined in her seat: "alright I'm a little tired ... I'm All in!"

It was very clear that I was dead, almost certainly had JQ or a set. And so I confesed ... "Lady, I'll fold 2 pair, but I'll teach you a trick, you have thrown a very cleartell , never do it again. At the time you made your straight, with the K, you leaned all the way back, I realized that you already had a monster ... Look, I'm folding 2 pairs, thanks to the tell. "

The lady had no words and was ultra grateful. She was so glad to know this new tell, but she did not know there were anti-tells. And being that my strategy was to be the lose-aggressive table, one of my tactics would be to use this against her. Many hands later I found just the time to apply this tactic.

At the button I pick up the 7h5c in a pot raised by the lady, being heads up with her.
The flop comes: KhTdThY
The Mrs. donkbets (bet out of position) U.S. $ 20, was a good time to float, so I just call.
Turn: (blank) 4c "sonny ... 35 more" bets the lady very confident, almost with pity. Without saying anything, I flat called, waiting for my miracle card to finish a project that would give an obvious fear of the benevolent lady.
River: (beautiful) 9hLa. Lady donkbets$ 50 more without saying a word, rather nervous.

Watching this juicy card, I almost instantly yell "All in!" - Wait a micro-second and release the perfect anti-tell: obviously leaning back, looked into the eyes of the sweet lady who was vacationing in Las Vegas and I go "Ooops!" throwing myself forward again with surprised face. The lady, who was about to call me, thinks a few seconds and says, "thank you sonny ... for a moment I thought that I had won this hand, if it wasn't for your teaching a little while ago you I would have called it. .." and there was the lady thanking me for having her bluffed off the hand for approximately U.S. $ 120 ", letting my speciffic tactic to work perfectly.

However, let us get back to the concepto of luck. Could the lady have called me and could she simply not have noticed my anti-tell? Yes. Could she have had AT, AA, KK? Yes. But very unlikely. Even if she had completed the flush with that last heart, given my obvious tell, she could have folded, thinking I was full. All these tactics have ranges of chance. Even the lady might have risen before I could even use my anti-tell!  
B. Attraction and random

Let's see how tactics and strategy can work on attraction. We will realize that chance is also involved, but come to the conclusion that each person can also show his best "ME".
Suppose that, just as the vast majority of men in the world, we try to find a mate for whatever the reason, adventure, long term, medium term, or otherwise, without ever having any any kind of teaching on how to do the right thing and get our best "ME" when meeting someone of interest.

Better said, with a teaching, but a wrong one!. Why wrong? When we are young, our elders, especially our mothers and grandmothers taught us that we need to treat women with an excess of respect and devotion, and we, as men, truth is that it makes us more or less confortable, until we realize that this really does NOT work. Let us understand that a woman has evolutionarily rooted in the depths of the cerebral cortex, their own survival and that is why they are drawn exclusively from what she recognizes as an alpha male.

This is a concept that has been well-thumbed, to say the least. So how do we fit the description of the man that is tender, caring, devoted to his wife? It seems like these two really do not fit. We see over and over again how the "bad boy" who abuses the weak and is not much of a sympathetic or tender guy, is attracted by be the prettiest girl. Why? We realize that this guy is often a liar, is far from devotion, indeed, how many times has he been unfaithful, and we think , "If only she just looked at me, I would be both more faithfull and she would be so happy to my side."

Dear potential alpha males, this is all just a matter of timming, tactics and strategy. Our strategy to get the girl is to be devoted, tender, thoughtful and concerned about our loved ones, the question is: when?? And this is where our grandmothers were wrong to specify. In short, this sensitive person you have to be AFTER being with the girl. That is, with your girlfriend, wife, partner. This means that in order to conquer her we need to be inconsiderate, rude, liars?

Not necessarily, but sometimes it works! Although not the way we would like, but for a lot of guys, it works. But why? Returning to the subject of evolutionary psychology of men and women, a woman ensures the persistence of their genes and much of this is guaranteed if a male is able to be strong and leading, and this may be from a group of nomads from 20,000 years ago or may be a current captain of the football team! But then the best strategy is to be the captain of the football team to be with the girl? Actually, no. But it helps! We all have something we can be leaders. In a fully globalized society, there are infinite ways to be a leader in something. She just wants to know that you can be a good leader of her clan. Besides, you do not necessarily have to really be it, you can reflect it, by simply telling stories that show this. These are some tactics to show that we are a leader. The strategy would be ... be a leader! Now, as in poker, there are many factors that help achieve success. Being the leader of ... something ... is not enough. For more details on this point see the previous post: http://nlfrankie.blogspot.com/2011/11/ir-contra-la-mesa.html

Let's go back to random. Suppose that X number of things that are needed to be this good player, huge alpha male. How could it fail? This is similar to wonder if my AA played right, and making the perfect decisions at the right time and the quantities mathematically exact, how I can lose? As with women, yes, you can lose, there is chance involved. A girl can be in a bad day. She could have a headache and be not wanting to talk to anyone, much less with a too forward man. Maybe she just ended a relationship and believes that all men are a mess. Or maybe she is just highly concentrated because in a couple of hours she has an exam. Or you could have a spaghetti hanging off your shirt and you did not notice!
Sure, some might argue that this was predictable and not random ... when dealing with people these tactics and strategies are not exact, just greatly helps our best best "ME", your best player.

This reminds me when I met Maku. I had just came out of a relationship in which everyone had us walking path near the altar and this did not turn out to be. After a stormy jealousy relationship (hers) and two years of fighting (although there were some redeemable things too) I entered a world of singlehood that I had never experienced. Living alone with a friend in the best neighborhood in the city, with an excellent career, I believed he had the world at my feet (not yet! I would have to fall a few times before this happened ...).

After several months of regular success women and a couple of years of bachelorhood I felt the need to formalize something. I was pushing 30, many of my friends getting married, others having children, my family began to ask when I would go serious, and so on. And honestly, you also sometimes feel the call of the jungle saying that if you now find the perfect girl, do not let her go. If I saw her, I would be that tender, considerate, devoted to my girl kind of guy, and that my world would revolve around it and let her know that I have great potential as a man, given my present and future career, my great family and why not, my car and apartment.

ERROR!

How could it be that for the first time I really wanted to get serious and be a good and faithful family man ... sucker! And these girls, I thought "parallel" to me, would not stand me! Why?! Granny what the fuck di you teach me?! Without going too much into the details of Maku, she is an extraordinarily beautiful girl, very alike families, 3 years younger, and working, she was perfect for me, and of course ... I was perfect for her.

I met her online and after begging her to give me a chance and go out with me, we went to a pub uptown. I always did good with girls, but when I got too serious, I crashed. Years later, it all squares up, I would not have standed myself either! Imagine what it must have been to listen to that...soooo lame!... "I have this, I do that.. . My school, my car, my family, my apartment.

Pathetic. 

Worst of all is that this was not even natural in me... it was only what I saw in the media that "worked." Maku, like any alpha female wanted to have fun! She wanted a male to look after her, respect her, devoted for her, surrender for her? Absolutely. But in order to let this male pursue this work, he first has to cross other barriers. Yes my alpha male - brothers, they put up the barriers, we were supposed to pass through them. It is the law of life, It is not my fault! Instead of complaining, I recommend to understand and use it against them ... or rather, in our favor.

How to lower these barriers? Or rather what did I not do right with Maku? And Javi?And with Vale? I didn't have fun! I went to show my credentials, hoping that they would fall at my feet rendered. Honestly not so bad strategy. But lousy tactics. Horrible. What would be the correct strategy and tactics then to have conquered some of these girls? I invite you to read the next posts ... The detail will be shown later. I just want to make clear, that had been clear at the time this would have been far less at random, my story would be different. If only he had had a good tactic ... for my "not so bad" strategy.

[1] By "Mind Set" I mean the provision that each gives to the particular action. If one is minded to only going to play for 5 hours, 5 hours is the longest-term and short would be 1-2 hours.

Play "Against" the Table

We are taught in poker usually have to play against the table. For example, this means that the very conservative have to be bluffed. Play very conservatively to the bluffers, play very irrational to the rational, for the irrational, we must play them as probabilities. And so on.

The dimensions in which players can be read are endless. The better the players, the more dimensions and the wider the complexity of the personalities and betting patterns in which we must put our rivals. This is the essence player readings.

People that are not well read in poker often relate reading poker players to the reading of tells or mannerisms, thus these may be important in a live game, they can also be misleading. I refer especially to this in another post.

In summary, the way to succeed in the poker table is to play the opposite style of your opponent. Many times your table is not all conservative or all manic. That's when multilevel reading begins and sometimes you will face in the same hand 2, 3 and 4 more players!

In the field of seduction something very alike happens. Women usually are not looking for a regular and standard guy. They are looking for the "alpha male", that which outstands for something special and different, the one who "plays against the table." (Even though they themselves often believe they just want a kind of "normal and caring guy")

This personality type is attractive because women seek evolutionarily 4 main aspects of an alpha male personality. Our mission as men is to show that we can outstand in these areas being different than the rest, being unique.

It is necessary to understand that this is true because thousands of years of natural evolution, where women have learned to that if she can be with the alpha male, she will be able to spread her genes more efficiently.I know this may sound a little too primitive, but these impulses are in the depths of our unconscious and the combination of these reasons are what make us feel that primitive desire to reproduce. The advantage we have is that being in the XXI century, we can use this information for us to be more successful and pull off our best alpha male.

These are the aspects that attract a woman and that will help her see us as alpha males and distinguish ourselves from the rest:·

Leader:

Perhaps the most obvious trait that makes us attractive today. Any alpha male must be able to show its leadership in any situation. To stand out it would be enough to tell some anecdote where we stand out as leaders. We all have been or are leaders in relation to something! If not ... please get hands on!

Presellected by women:

This point is tricky because it is not so easy to understand. Intuitively we would think that if a woman sees us with many women they would think we were a player and that can go against us. It may be ... however, most commonly is a plus! In the strange and twisted female mind, the reasoning is:

"If this guy is surrounded by women, he must be qualified enough to be a good male, therefore I want him too"

To have a plus in this item, you do not need to be literally and physically surrounded by women. It will be enough to have situations in which part of our common life is to deal with high-value, attractive and required women.

Take care of loved ones:

No alpha female will want to be with a male who does not worry about their family and loved ones (especially women such as mother, sister, girlfriend). We increase our value when we show that we care what happens to our loved ones and that we are able to take action to defend and protect them.

Human, able to connect:

When you are getting to know a woman, you can show all I have mentioned in the latter points, characteristics of an alpha male, but very often we ignore the need for women to connect with their partner.

"A woman wont fall in love with those values men show, but they will fall for what he is able to make her feel"

This explains so much. Please take a few minutes to understand the above situation, expressing essentially the basis of male-female romantic relationships. To achieve this, we must genuinely be interested in the person we have before us, only then we can connect.

A common mistake that people make when interacting with women is trying to connect first of all, whereas the right thing to do is to do this once the woman has come to realize that we are sufficiently "alpha" to show that we can connect.

A common error both before and after understanding these concepts is to try to demonstrate these values ​​by using phrases such as:

• I am the manager of ...·
• I make a lot of money
• I have a sports car
• I am very sensitive
• I have many options for girls
• Etc.

Which one is more pathetic!

The best way to show all these values ​​is through the telling of a story that has enough highlights, which subtly take for granted these points. Men, as rational beings, seek to demonstrate verbally or visually, when the truth is that since women are sentient beings and receivers, the correct way to show all these values is doing it in a tacit way. We all have stories, anecdotes and experiences in which we have emerged as leaders, pre-selected by women, caregivers of loved ones, and sentient beings, capable of connecting. The trick is to tell these stories all at once hopefully where these features stand out clearly:

This is an example of storythat meets the description above:

When I was in college, I went on exchange to Australia. Although no one from my college had ever gone to this city (Gold Coast) I did not mind because I thought it was a great adventure, experience Australia and a city in the north where there was plenty of sunshine and holidays throughout the year.

(Here is shown how a leader takes initiative and goes to an unknown country in a trade that no one had done. A leader is able to take risks successfully. Moreover, going as an exchange student to Australia may mean that I have a high cultural and intellectual level, which is a value, without explicitly saying so)

I had only been there for a couple of weeks and I frequently hung in the most important night club, where I became friends with the guards and the DJ. That night, I was there by myself and was waiting for a little while until some other friends show up.

(Shows how clearly a leader with initiative surrounds himself with people of high value to its objectives, and is capable of going alone to a bar to meet new people, given his social skills)

So I was drinking quietly when this girl came to the bar with the most beautiful hair I had seen. She was with a friend and spent a couple of minutes until I approached them.

This girl not only had one of the most beautiful faces I've seen but also could not stop noticing her hair, and finally after a while I coulndt help asking her about the flashy hair. She said she really was a hair model and was in the Gold Coast as an exchange student also doing a graduate degree in economics.

(Implying that I can also pay attention beyond the physical aspects of the woman being a sensitive and emotionally connected guy)

After a while of talking, I could not stop touching the hair, until out of a sudden I literally got hooked my wrist watch to her hair. We started to struggle for a bit until finally, to my surprise, the entire hair slipped! ... awkward moment ... it was a wig!

I asked her what happened? Why did she lie? It turned out that she actually was a model of hair, only after much manipulation of of it, it ends up burning. We left the venue and told her I wanted to see her face well with no wig. It turned out that she was so beautiful that she did not need to wear a wig.

(I suggest that I am able to establish a close relationship in no time with a woman of high value)

It turned out that thanks to this incident, she realized she did not need to wear a wig because her beautiful face was enough. So after a couple dates this brilliant girl was my girlfriend during my stay in Australia and still today we are good friends.

(Able to maintain a mature relationship of friendship even after a break)